“You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”
Bill Peterson
Football Coach at Florida State

I spent 90%of my money on women and drink.
The rest I wasted!
George Best
Champion English Football Player

“And he’s lost both right front tires.”
James Allen

“The Germans only have one player under 22,
and he’s 23!”
Kevin Keegan
English Football Player

When asked why he keeps a color photo of himself just above his locker:
Chicago Blackhawks Hockey Star Stu Grimson said:
“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”

Zero – zero is a big score!
Ron Atkinson
Football Pundit

“This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria… I saw her
snatch this morning and it was amazing.”
Pat Glenn
Sports Commentator (weightlifting)
Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins.
Brian Moore

He’s usually a good puller – but he couldn’t
get it up that time.
Ritchie Benaud
Australian Cricket Commentator
Read the rest of this entry »

Originally posted 2009-07-08 01:44:30.

“If you even dreamof beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.”
Muhammad Ali
Boxing Great

Reporter:  Shaquille, did you visit the Parthenon during your visit to Greece?
“I can’t really remember the names of all the clubs that we went to.”
Shaquille O’Neal
Basketball Player

“Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.”
Muhammad Ali
Boxing Great

“They called it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.”
Walter Hagen
British Open Golf Champion

‘Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air even longer.’
David Acfield
Football Player

“Alex Ferguson is the best manager I’ve ever had at this level.
Well, he’s the only manager I’ve actually had at this level.
But he’s the best manager I’ve ever had”
David Beckham
English Soccer Player

“It was the fastest-ever swim over that distance on American soil.”
Greg Phillips
Portsmouth News
Read the rest of this entry »

Originally posted 2009-07-07 01:44:06.

“I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.”
Muhammad Ali
Boxing Legend

‘I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.’
Mark Draper
Aston Villa Footballer

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them!
Jimmy Demaret
Hall of Fame Golfer

“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing- but none of them serious.”
Alan Minter
Boxer

“Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball.”
Ian St John
Football Player

“Statistics are like miniskirts:
They give you good ideas but hide the important things”
Ebbe Skovdahl
Danish Football Manager

“When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1″
Lawrie McMenemy
Manager of Southampton Football Club

Dennis Pennis asks boxer Chris Eubank the following question during an interview:
‘Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?’
Chris Eubank: ‘On what?’

“Is the Pope Catholic. No I’m serious, is he? I really need
to know” – when asked if he might be moving to AS Roma
David Beckham
English Soccer Player

“Now you see me, now you don’t.
George thinks he will, but I know he won’t!”
Boxing Champion Muhammad Ali taunting George Foreman Read the rest of this entry »

Originally posted 2009-07-02 03:25:52.

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”
— Truman Capote

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues
that are in all the other museums.

Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

I have the oldest typewriter in the world.  It types in pencil.

“Most people have read The Hobbit, picked up Lord of the Rings and have gone
‘Ugggh… if I have to read one more three-page description of a tree…’”

“After The Wizard Of Oz I was typecast as a lion,
and there aren’t all that many parts for lions.” 
Bert Lahr.

The report of my death was an exaggeration. Mark Twain

Buy land. They’ve stopped making it. Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Oscar Wilde

I like talking to a brick wall, it’s the only thing in the world that never contradicts me. Oscar  Wilde

I never know what I think about something until I read what I’ve written on it. William Faulkner

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. Winston Churchill

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. William Somerset Maugham

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. —Samuel Butler

It’s possible, you can never know, that the universe exists only for me. If so, it’s sure going well for me, I must admit. —– Bill Gates

The notion of looking on at life has always been hateful to me. What am I if I am not a participant? In order to be, I must participate. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery “

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. —-George Carlin

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, ‘I am with you kid Let’s go! —-Maya Angelou

How could there be any question of acquiring or possessing, when the one thing needful for a man is to become — to be at last, and to die in the fullness of his being. ——-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time. —-John Barrymore

Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination. —– Christopher Isherwood

Many of life’s circumstances are created by three basic choices: the disciplines you choose to keep, the people you choose to be with; and, the laws you choose to obey. —–Charles Millhuff

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. —– Ashleigh Brilliant

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

Every second we waste laughing at each other is no second wasted at all. Happiness is not knowing the bucket’s behind you. —– Unlucky Sun

Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first. —- Benjamin Franklin

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. —–Mark Twain

I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it. (Charles Schulz)

I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and if Im not in it, I go to work. —– A. E. Matthews

True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness. —-Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. —Samuel Butler

No one owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death. —William Burroughs

And did you get what you wanted in this life even so? I did And what is it you wanted? To call myself beloved To feel myself beloved on the earth. —-Raymond Carver

“A baby is a blank check made payable to the human race.” Barbara Christine Seifert

“Making the decision to have a child–It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~ Elizabeth Stone

“Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.” ~ Marcelene Cox

“Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.” ~ John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” ~ Franklin P. Jones

“A baby’s an inestimable blessing and bother.” ~ Mark Twain

“Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” ~ Ed Asner

“A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.” ~ Bill Vaughan

“If your baby’s “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.” ~ Theresa Bloomingdale

“People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.” ~ Leo J. Burke

“Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home.” ~ Bill Cosby quote

“A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.” ~ Ronald Knox quote

“There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.” ~ ~Dr. Benjamin Spock quote

“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.” ~ Kin Hubbard quote

“A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.” ~ Irish Proverb

“The hardest job facing kids today is learning good manners without seeing any.” ~ Fred Astaire