Funny Sport Quotes 3
“You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”
Bill Peterson
Football Coach at Florida State
I spent 90%of my money on women and drink.
The rest I wasted!
George Best
Champion English Football Player
“And he’s lost both right front tires.”
James Allen
“The Germans only have one player under 22,
and he’s 23!”
Kevin Keegan
English Football Player
When questioned why he keeps a color photo of himself just above his locker:
Chicago Blackhawks Hockey Star Stu Grimson said:
“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”
Zero – zero is a huge score!
Ron Atkinson
Football Pundit
“This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria… I saw her
snatch this morning and it was incredible.”
Pat Glenn
Sports Commentator (weightlifting)
Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins.
Brian Moore
He’s usually a excellent puller – but he couldn’t
get it up that time.
Ritchie Benaud
Australian Cricket Commentator
“A verbal contract isn’t worth the
paper it’s written on”
Samuel Goldwyn
Media
“Honey, I Forgot to Duck.”
JackDemsey talking to his wife after he
just lost the 1926 World Heavyweight Title
“Andrew Mehrtens likes it when
Darryl Gibson comes inside of him”
Murray Mexted
NZ Rugby commentator
Ardiles strokes the ball like it is
part of his own anatomy!
Jimmy Magee
RTE
That’s fantastic, tell him he’s Pele and get him back on.
JOHN LAMBIE responds when told a concussed striker did not
know who he was after getting hit.
Partick Thistle manager
This is an unusual Scotland side
because they have excellent players
Javier Clemente
Coach of Spanish Football Team
“We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general
manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.”
PatWilliams
Orlando Magic Basketball General Manager, 1992
Commenting on his team’s 7-27 record:
“I’m disappointed, but I’m not going to run around
like Dennis Rodman and head-butt somebody.”
Greg Norman
Answering a reporter’s question after giving up a six shot lead at the
Masters Golf Tournament
“We really got the winner three minutes
from the end but then they equalized.”
Ian McNail
Footballer
“We’ll still be pleased if we lose.
It’s on at the same time as the Beer Festival”
Noel O’Mahoney
Cork City Boss Commenting Before the Game
“I would not say he is the best left winger in the
Premiership, but there are none better.”
Ron Atkinson
Football Pundit Talking about David Ginola
“Her time is about 4.33,
which she’s capable of.”
David Coleman
‘Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride,
everybody saw that’
Desmond Lynam
BBC horse racing commentator
“If you can’t stand the heat in the dressing-
room, get out of the kitchen”
Tony Shaw
Australian Football Player
When Bob Costas questioned Oiler’s football coach Bum Phillips why he
always takes his wife on the road trips, Phillips answered:
“Because she is too damn
Hideous to kiss goodbye!”
“They didn’t change positions, they
just went the players around!”
John Sammy Newman
Channel 9 Football Commentator
“I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor.
The tests don’t seem to make sense to me,
measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been
through in school.”
Ray Forsythe – Clemson football player
Commenting about why he was ineligible as a freshman because of
academic requirements
“Show me a man who is a excellent loser
and I’ll show you a man who is
playing golf with his boss.”
Jim Murray
“I went to a fight the other night and a
hockey game broke out.”
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedian/Actor
Whenever I feel like exercising I
lie down until the feeling passes!
Robert M. Hutchins
If you are going to throw a club, it is vital to throw
it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to
waste energy going back to pick it up.
Tommy Bolt
When a question was questioned of boxing promoter Dan Duva
about Don King managing Mike Tyson again he answered:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter?
He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”
Boxing is a lot of white men watching two
black men beat each other up.
Muhammad Ali
Boxing Fantastic
“If women were meant to play
football, God would have place their
tits somewhere else.”
Gordon Sinclair
If you reckon it’s hard to meet new people, try
picking up the incorrect golf ball.
Jack Lemmon
Don’t park in the spaces marked,
“Reserved for Umpires.”
John McSherry
When someone questioned Texas Football Coach, Darrell Royal, if the
abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor
physical conditioning:
Royal answered: “One player was lost because he
broke his nose. How do you go about getting a
nose in condition for football?”
In 1991, Steve Spurrier, told Florida Gator fans that a fire at Auburn’s
football dorm had ruined 20 books:
He then said: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been coloured yet.”
Steve Spurrier
Florida University Football Coach
Most football players are temperamental. That’s
ninety percent temper and ten percent mental.
Doug Plank
Playing football in the morning is like
eating cabbage for breakfast.
Press
Hawaii doesn’t win many games in the
United States.
Lee Corso
College Football Commentator
Let’s face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that
has a small something to do with the brain to go out on the
football field and beat your head against other human
beings on a daily basis.
Tim Green
When questioned about what it would take for him to leave
Essendon Football Club from his current position as
an assistant coach; Mark Harvey answered:
“I won’t leave unless I’m offered a Head Job from
someone else!”
Mark Harvey
Assistant Football Coach – EFC
Cricket commentator Mark Nicholas was interviewing Australian spin
bowler Shane Warne about his bowling technique.
Nicholas questioned Warne how he puts a certain spin on the ball.
Warne relied by saying that you have to cock your wrist a small more.
Nicholas then responded by saying “so you need a bit more cock in
your hand to get the ball to do that!”
Both paused for a second and then continued as they knew that it was
a PG rated show.
Well, Clive, it’s all about the two M’s.
Movement and positioning”
Ron Atkinson
Football Pundit
“You’re about as useful as a one-legged
man at an arse kicking contest.”
Rowan Atkinson
“It’s raining and the track is wet!”
James Allen
“Baseball is 90% mental –
The other half is physical.”
Yogi Berra?
Baseball Fantastic
“In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete.”
Yakov Smirnoff
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