Funny Sport Quotes
“I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.”
Muhammad Ali
Boxing Legend
‘I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.’
Mark Draper
Aston Villa Footballer
Golf and sex are the only things you can delight in without being excellent at them!
Jimmy Demaret
Hall of Fame Golfer
“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing- but none of them serious.”
Alan Minter
Boxer
“Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball.”
Ian St John
Football Player
“Statistics are like miniskirts:
They give you excellent thoughts but hide the vital things”
Ebbe Skovdahl
Danish Football Manager
“When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1″
Lawrie McMenemy
Manager of Southampton Football Club
Dennis Pennis questions boxer Chris Eubank the following question during an interview:
‘Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?’
Chris Eubank: ‘On what?’
“Is the Pope Catholic. No I’m serious, is he? I really need
to know” – when questioned if he might be moving to AS Roma
David Beckham
English Soccer Player
“Now you see me, now you don’t.
George thinks he will, but I know he won’t!”
Boxing Champion Muhammad Ali taunting George Foreman
‘And Nakano tries to avoid being passed by his team-mate Trulli,
which should in fact be quite simple, because Trulli is going more
slowly than his team-mate Nakano.’
MurrayWalker
Formula One Motor Racing Car Commentator
‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it
– you can see it all over their faces.’
Ron Atkinson
Football Pundit
“When Manchester United are at their best – I am close to orgasm”
Gianluca Vialli
Soccer Player
“Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win”
Vinny Jones
Former Chelsea Football Player
“Despite the rain, it’s still raining here at Ancient Trafford”
Jimmy Hill
BBC Sports
‘For those of you watching in black and white,
Spurs are in the all-yellow strip.’
John Motson
BBC Sports
“One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that,
before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.
Oh my God, what have I just said?”
Golf Commentator
Unites States TV
“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”
Greg Norman
Australian Golf Champion
“This is a really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.”
TedWalsh
Horse Racing Commentator
‘Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.’
Ron Atkinson
Football Pundit
‘If you’d offered me a 69 at the start this morning
I’d have been all over you.’
Sam Torrance
Golfer
‘……..and later we will have action from the men’s cockless pairs …’
Sue Barker
Sports Commentator
“The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.”
John Francombe
Jockey
‘A fascinating duel between 3 men…’
David Coleman
BBC Commentator talking about the hammer throw competition
‘The lead car is absolutely unique, except
for the one behind it which is identical.’
MurrayWalker
Formula One Motor Car Racing Commentator
“There are the boys, their balls between their legs.”
Amanda Redington
GMTV
‘In cycling, you can place all your money on one horse.’
Stephen Roche
Eurosport Television
“We now have exactly the same situation as we had at
the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.”
MurrayWalker
Formula One Motor Car Racing Commentator
‘Julian Dicks is everywhere.
It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.’
Metro Radio
Football
“These greens are so quick they must bikini wax them.”
Gary McCord
Commenting on the golf greens in Atlanta
“Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds – really against the run of play.”
Peter Lorenzo
Football “Pundit”
“We really got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized.”
Ian McNail
Footballer
“It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.”
IanWright
Commenting on His Team Mate’s Alcoholism
“I don’t like to see players tossed off needlessly”
Andy Gray
Football Player
“The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath”
Terry Butcher
Football Player
“If you stand still there is only one way to go, and that’s backwards”
Peter Shilton
England Goalkeeper
“And Farmer has now scored 19 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season”
Garry Lyon
Australian Football Commentator
“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league”
Mark Viduka
Australian Soccer Player
“He’s pulling him off!
The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!”
George Hamilton commenting on Spain’s manager Luis Suarez’s substitution of
Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland
‘Morcelli has the four fastest 1500-metre times
ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres.’
David Coleman
Athletics Commentator
‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge
president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.’
Harry Carpenter
BBC TV Commentating on a Boat Race in 1977
“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf.”
Hank Aaron
Baseball Player
“The word ‘aerobics’ came about when the gym instructors got together and said:
If we’re going to charge $10 an hour, we can’t call it jumping up and down.”
Rita Rudner
Comedienne
‘I always used to place my right boot on first,
and then obviously my right sock.’
Barry Venison
ITV
‘Without being too harsh on David,
he cost us the match.’
IanWright
ITV
“My parents have been there for me,
ever since I was about 7.”
David Beckham
English Soccer Player
“I reckon Sheffield Wednesday are a very poor football team. They are like a man who’s got diarrhoea who can’t get his trousers down”
Rodney Marsh
Australian Cricket Player
“The ref was vertically 15 yards away.”
Kevin Keegan
Football Player
“Diego Maradona – a flawed genius who has now become a genius who is flawed”
Bob Wilson
Arsenal Manager
“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”
North Carolina State basketball player Chuck Nevitt, explaining to coach Jim
Valvano in 1982 why he appeared nervous at practice.
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz basketball president commenting on a former player:
“I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you.
Is it ignorance or apathy?’
Player: “Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.”
“The immortal Jackie Milburn died today”
Cliff Morgan
Welsh Rugby Union Player
“If at first you don’t succeed
……. So much for skydiving.”
Henry Youngman
Comedian
“Monica Seles – I’d despise to be next door to her on her wedding night.”
Peter Ustinov
News/TV