“If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always
pays the best interest.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and
less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and
stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” — Mark Victor
Hansen

“Fantastic leaders are nearly always fantastic simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a
solution everybody can know.” — General Colin Powell

“No matter what size the bottle, the cream always came to the top.” — Charles Wilson

“We get paid for bringing value to the marketplace. It takes time to bring value to the marketplace, but we get
paid for the value, not the time.” — Jim Rohn

“You do not lead by hitting people over the head–that’s assault, not leadership.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower

Opportunities? They are all around us…there is power lying latent everywhere waiting for the observant eye to
learn it.” — Orison Swett Marden, 1850-1924, American Author, Founder of Success Magazine

“We are continually faced by fantastic opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.” — Lee Iococca

“The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” — Benjamin Disraeli

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” —
Thomas Edison

“A boat doesn’t go forward if each one is rowing their own way.” — Swahili Proverb

“You may delay, but time will not.” — Benjamin Franklin

“The majority of people meet with failure because they lack the persistence to make new plans to take the place
of failed plans.” — Mark Victor Hansen

“Genius is divine perseverance. Genius I cannot claim, nor even extra brightness, but perseverance all can have.”
– Woodrow Wilson

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in very difficulty.” — Winston
Churchill

“You are always free to choose what you do with your life. To make changes in your future, make new choices
today.” — Brian Tracy

“The secret to productive goal setting is in establishing clearly defined goals, writing them down and then
focusing on them several times a day with words, pictures and emotions as if we’ve already achieved them.” —
Denis Waitley

“Minds are like parachutes, they only function when they are open.” — Sir James Dewar

“Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his
mind.” — Leonardo da Vinci

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more vital than any other one thing.” —
Abraham Lincoln

“Life is too small to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom
otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don’t hang around long enough for his or her terrible attitude
to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people.” — Zig Ziglar

“You can’t hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can’t catch fish unless you place your line in the
water. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t try.” — Kathy Seligman

Originally posted 2009-08-26 03:36:03.

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Time only seems to matter when it’s running out. –Peter Strup

Remember that time is money -Benjamin Franklin

We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch. – John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. – Carl Sandberg

Now is the only time there is. Make your now wow, your minutes miracles, and your days pay. Your life will have been magnificently lived and invested, and when you die you will have made a difference. – Mark Victor Hansen

Time is a fixed income and, as with any income, the real problem facing most of us is how to live successfully within our daily allotment. – Margaret B. Johnstone

You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it. – Charles Buxton

Minutes are worth more than money. Spend them wisely. – Thomas P. Murphy

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it. – Sidney J. Harris

The terrible news is time flies. The excellent news is you’re the pilot. – Michael Althsuler

Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. -Unknown

Originally posted 2009-05-15 00:17:42.

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Pretty soon it’s gonna be National Smile Week, and what better way to get those smiles cracking than with some humorous and amusing quotes? Get ready for your checks to hurt the whole week through. Here are twenty-five amusing quotes to get you started.

1. “If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.” ~ Dave Allen

2. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” ~ Albert Einstein

3. “Excellent girls go to heaven, terrible girls go everywhere.” ~ Mae West

4. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” ~ Fred Allen

5. “The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.” ~ Dave Barry

6. “A dog is the only thing on earth that likes you more than you like yourself.” ~ Josh Billings

7. “Things ain’t what they used to be and probably never was.” ~Will Rogers

8. “Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.” ~ Gary Busey

9. “I like Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.” ~ Walt Disney

10. “Hippies, hippies… they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!”   ~ Eric Cartman

11. “If you reckon nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”   ~ Flip Wilson

12. “If you want to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

13. “I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have place diamonds on the floor.” ~ Joan Rivers

14. “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” ~ Emo Philips

15. “There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.” ~ Josh Groban

16. “I reckon the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades…or a game of fake heart attack.” ~Demetri Martin

17. “Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.” ~ Ruth Gordon

18. “It is incredible how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to know the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.” ~ Ben Bergor

19. “Have no dread of perfection–you’ll never reach it.” ~ Salvador Dali

20.”It is better to be gorgeous than to be excellent, but it is better to be excellent than to be hideous.” ~ Oscar Wilde

21. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.” ~ Ethel Barrymore

22. “I reckon of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most vital moments.” ~ Jim Morrison

23. “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” ~ Winston Churchill

24. “Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.” ~ Jason Hutchison

25. “Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.” ~ Benny Hill

Are you smiling yet? Fantastic! Now you’re ready for National Smile Week. Know someone else who needs to exercise their face muscles before the huge week really hits? Why not take these twenty-five amusing quotes and share them?

http://www.well-known-quotes-and-quotations.com/amusing-quote.html

Originally posted 2009-09-21 03:33:39.

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A doctor would promise life to a corpse if it could swallow the pills.
– Napoleon

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.
– William Osler

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.
– Voltaire

Some people reckon that doctors and nurses can place scrambled eggs back into the shell.
– Dorothy Canfield Fisher

He cures most in whom most have faith.
– Galen

Oh, the powers of Nature! She knows what we need, and the doctors know nothing.
– Benvenuto Cellini, 1860

The fantastic secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is
that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning.
– Lewis Thomas, NY Times Magazine

Cur’d yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.
– Matthew Prior

Doctors cut, burn, and torture the sick, then demand of them an undeserved fee for such
services.
– Heraclitus, 500 BC

As long as we are liable to die, and desirous to live, a physician will be made fun of, but he
will be well paid.
– La Bruyere, 1688

Physicians are like Kings – They brook no contradiction.
– John Webster, 1613

God heals, and the doctor takes the fee.
– Benjamin Franklin

Some patients, though conscious that their condition is perilous, recover their health simply
through their contentment with the goodness of the physician.
– Hippocrates

Honor a physician with the honor due unto him for the uses which ye may have of him: for
the Lord hath made him.
– Ecclesiasticus 38:1

My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up
the X-rays.
– Joey Bishop

It is right that I am carrying out various methods of treatment recommended by doctors and
dentists in the hope of dying in the remote future in perfect health.
– George Santayana

Originally posted 2009-09-07 03:34:33.

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Life is not merely being alive, but being well.
– Martial, 66 AD, Epigrams

We know a fantastic deal more about the causes of disease  than we do about the causes of
health.
– M. Scott Peck, TRLT

In nature there are neither rewards nor punihments – there are only consequences.
– Robert G. Ingersol

The greatest of follies is to sacrifice health for any other  kind of happiness.
– Schopenhauer, Arthur

A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by
his thought to derive benefit from his illnesses.
– Hippocrates

In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all  liberties.
– Henri-Frederic Amiel 1828-1881

Happiness is nothing more than excellent health and a terrible memory.
– Albert Schweitzer

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
– Mark Twain

Inaction, save as a measure of recuperation between bursts of activity, is painful and dan-
gerous to the healthy organism – in fact, it is nearly impossible. Only the dying can he really
idle.
-  H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

I know a lot of men who are healthier at age fifty than they have ever been before, because
a lot of their dread is gone.
– Robert Bly

For the rational, psychologically healthy man, the desire for pleasure is the desire to cel-
ebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the desire to escape
from reality.
– Nathaniel Branden

Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
– Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

Be sober and temperate, and you will be healthy. Be in general virtuous, and you will be
pleased.
-  Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom.
-  Aristotle (384-322 BC)

Having excellent health is very different from only being not sick.
– Seneca The Younger, 50 AD

A young man with excellent health and a poor appetite can save up money.
– James Montgomery Bailey

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Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. —Samuel Butler

It’s possible, you can never know, that the universe exists only for me. If so, it’s sure going well for me, I must admit. —– Bill Gates

The notion of looking on at life has always been hateful to me. What am I if I am not a participant? In order to be, I must participate. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery “

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. —-George Carlin

Life likes to be taken by the lapel and told, ‘I am with you kid Let’s go! —-Maya Angelou

How could there be any question of acquiring or possessing, when the one thing needful for a man is to become — to be at last, and to die in the fullness of his being. ——-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The distress with life is that there are so many gorgeous women and so small time. —-John Barrymore

Life is not so terrible if you have plenty of luck, a excellent physique and not too much imagination. —– Christopher Isherwood

Many of life’s circumstances are made by three basic choices: the disciplines you choose to keep, the people you choose to be with; and, the laws you choose to obey. —–Charles Millhuff

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. —– Ashleigh Brilliant

No matter how terrible things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

Every second we waste laughing at each other is no second wasted at all. Happiness is not knowing the bucket’s behind you. —– Unlucky Sun

Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to right some faults in the first. —- Benjamin Franklin

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands clarified. —–Mark Twain

I reckon I’ve learned the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it. (Charles Schulz)

I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and if Im not in it, I go to work. —– A. E. Matthews

Right, we like life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in like, but there is also always some reason in madness. —-Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. —Samuel Butler

No one owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death. —William Burroughs

And did you get what you wanted in this life even so? I did And what is it you wanted? To call myself beloved To feel myself beloved on the earth. —-Raymond Carver

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