“Success requires the vision to see, the faith to believe, and the courage to do.”
- Author Unknown

“Ambition, confidence, enthusiasm and success are produced by courage, faith, pride,
and hard work.”
- Harry F. Banks

“Success is not a matter of desire, but the product of hard work.”
- Jack Barringer

“To succeed, one must posses an effective combination of ability, ambition, courage,
drive, hard work, integrity, and loyalty.”
- Harry F. Banks

“Never mind what others do; better than yourself, beat your own record from day to do,
and you are a success.”
- William J.H. Boetckner

“If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.”
- Maya Angelou

“They never fail who die in a fantastic cause.”
- George Gordon Byron

“The vital thing to recognize is that it takes a team, and the team ought to get credit
for the wins and the losses. Successes have many fathers, failures have none.”
- Philip Caldwell

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.”
- Bill Cosby

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of
children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of fake friends; to
appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a small better; whether by a
healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has
breathed simpler because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in making new
plans to take the place of those which fail.”
- Napoleon Hill

Originally posted 2009-11-07 10:36:58.

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Parents’ Day is right around the corner and what better way to celebrate than with some amusing and humorous parenting quotes? After all, if there’s one thing parents deserve, it’s a excellent laugh every now and then. These 18 hilarious parenting quotes are sure to crack smiles on the faces of moms and dads everywhere.

1. “A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes.” ~ Russell Lynes

2. “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”   ~ Lane Olinhouse

3. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” ~ Erma Bombeck

4. “Fatherhood is pretending the present you like most is soap-on-a-rope.” ~ Bill Cosby

5. “You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” ~ Franklin P. Jones

6. “Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.” ~ Doug Larson.

7. “A three year ancient child is a being who gets nearly as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.” ~
Bill Vaughan.

8. “In the small world in which children have their existence, whosoever brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt as
injustice.” ~ Charles Dickens

9. “It is incredible how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to know the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.” ~ Ben Bergor

10. “The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.” ~ Author Unknown

11. “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’
therapy.” ~ Michelle Pfeiffer

12. “The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want silent.” ~ Bill Cosby

13. “Mothers are all slightly insane.” ~ J.D. Salinger

14. “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been
found.” ~ Calvin Trillin

15. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” ~ Milton Berle

16. “Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.” ~ Ed Asner

17. “Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.” ~ Peter Ustinov

18. “Reckon of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.” ~ Joyce Armor

Noel Jameson

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“A baby is a blank check made payable to the human race.” Barbara Christine Seifert

“Making the choice to have a child–It’s momentous. It is to choose forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~ Elizabeth Stone

“Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.” ~ Marcelene Cox

“Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.” ~ John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” ~ Franklin P. Jones

“A baby’s an inestimable blessing and bother.” ~ Mark Twain

“Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” ~ Ed Asner

“A three year ancient child is a being who gets nearly as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.” ~ Bill Vaughan

“If your baby’s “gorgeous and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.” ~ Theresa Bloomingdale

“People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.” ~ Leo J. Burke

“Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home.” ~ Bill Cosby quote

“A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.” ~ Ronald Knox quote

“There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.” ~ ~Dr. Benjamin Spock quote

“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.” ~ Kin Hubbard quote

“A man likes his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.” ~ Irish Proverb

“The toughest job facing kids today is learning excellent manners without seeing any.” ~ Fred Astaire

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